Life and Love Go On
by Somoene.Like.Me
Summary: It hurt to see him like this. It hurt to be pushed away. It hurt to be unloved. Kyle and Sunny's part of the story. R
1. Prologue

**I don't own The Host.**

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**Prologue**

**Sunny**

"But I…I want to stay," I whined quietly as Kyle led me to what I assumed would be the doctor of these caves.

"I know, I know," he said soothingly but I couldn't ignore the slight impatience coloring his tone. "But you can't, I'm sorry Sunny but you can't stay."

"Why?" I chanced a look up at him and immediately looked back down again for his intense blue gaze was too much for me.

"I…..you…..you'll be happier somewhere else." He said dismissively and continued on through the winding corridors.

"But….."I started but held my tongue. I knew I couldn't stay here, I didn't belong here among these humans. I wasn't one of them and I couldn't deny that fact.

"I'm sorry Sunny but I have to do this….I-I have try to get her back and I'm so sorry if I hurt you but you have to understand." He pleaded with me and one look in his eyes decided my answer.

I would do it.

For him.

I couldn't stand to see him in this pent up pain any longer, it hurt me just as much as it hurt him if not more. It hurt to see him like this. It hurt to be pushed away like this. It hurt to be unloved. But I had to do it, for Kyle, because if I truly loved him, I would let him go. Let him be happy even if it wasn't with me.

I looked down and kept quiet after that. I couldn't trust my voice, afraid that I might break down.

"I truly am sorry, Sunny, but you shouldn't want to stay. There's nothing we can offer here." He stated and I turned to the side as the tears began to gather in my eyes.

Again, I was silent until we finally reached a brightly lit room that he led me into. I looked around and noticed a man sitting at a makeshift desk with scattered papers cluttering the surface.

"Doc," Kyle called and the man looked up before nodding and coming over to me. He reached his hand out towards me and I flinched away from it cautiously.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you…."The doctor said calmly.

"Over here Kyle," He ordered as he walked over to a small cot and signaled for us to follow.

I stared blankly at the cot before slowly laying down on my stomach and finally letting my last tears fall.

I heard murmured voices and shuffling around the room but I kept my eyes closed, afraid of anything I might see.

"Sunny….here, take this," I heard Kyles voice say, close to my ear and I opened my eyes slightly to take the small square of No Pain from him. "We'll send you somewhere nice okay? Somewhere where you'll forget all of this, a place you'll be happy. Because that's what I want, you know, I want you to be happy too okay?"

I didn't want to listen though, afraid I would detect the lie he must be telling me. He didn't want happiness for me. He wanted me gone so he could have his real love back, so he could have Jodi back.

I popped the No Pain into my mouth and looked at him one last time before whispering "I love you Kyle….."

And then he smiled sadly before I inhaled the chloroform and the world went black.

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**Review and maybe I'll continue this. :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Here's chapter two and I would like to thank those who reviewed, I really appreciate it so this chapter for you guys! Hope it doesn't disappoint!**

**I don't own the host…..if I did, would I be writing fan fiction about it? I didn't think so.**

**Sunny**

"Doc,I think she's waking up…." I heard the somewhat familiar sound faintly but it was distant, miles away from me yet I could hear it. The sound made something in me flutter rapidly but I couldn't figure out what it was. I decided I liked the sound of this voice and wanted to hear it again

"Hmm….." Another voice murmured softly and again the sound was distant. And again, this one was somewhat familiar like I had heard it before.

But I couldn't have. I was a dolphin right? I had just come from earth… I think. Yes, earth was where I was before until.....Kyle. Until Kyle took me out. So _that_ was the voice I was hearing and the thought of this made that fluttery feeling in my chest return. But I shouldn't be able to remember this like it was yesterday because if I was where I was suppose to be, I shouldn't be feeling these emotions and memories like I am now. I shouldn't be hearing voices in my head as if I was…._ah what do they call it……._oh yeah, schizophrenic.

Unless they had kept me. That was the only logical answer even though I had no idea why they would do it. I thought they had gotten what they wanted and could leave me be, could let me actually be happy like they said they would. But no, they had to bring me back here so I could sit everyday and watch him sulk around and because she didn't come back while I sat on the sidelines, unwanted and unloved. I wanted to escape no matter how much it hurt because really in the long run I would have only ended up hurt with Kyle.

So, the souls were right. Humans are selfish and cruel and only care about themselves and their sick satisfactions. And suddenly I hated them. I hated Kyle for making me love him. I hated Doc for taking me away and bringing me back. I hated Wanda for acting like one of them.

And then at the same time I took back my hate towards them. How could I hate Kyle no matter how much he hurt me? How could I hate Doc when I barely knew him? How could I hate Wanda when she was the only one who understood me?

I couldn't.

So I wouldn't hate.

But what could I do then? I didn't belong here, and a part of me didn't want to be here. But sadly, the larger part of me wanted to stay just to be near Kyle and I hated myself. I hated how I could love him so much even after he made it clear he didn't want me. That he didn't love me.

And suddenly I felt a sharp excruciating pain explode throughout my chest and I let out a scream.

"She's awake!" This was Doc.

"Is she okay?" This voice, Kyle's voice, made the pain intensify greatly and I whimpered softly. "Sunny, are you okay? What's wrong?"

I couldn't find words to tell him how he made the pain worse with each word that came from his mouth so I only whimpered again as the pain pulsated violently and I felt like dying, it was so intense.

And then I realized that the pain in my chest was my heart and that I was not dying, just broken –hearted.

"Doc are you sure she's okay?" Kyle's voice asked frantically and I almost thought he was concerned for me but remembered he was concerned for Jodi's body.

"She seems fine as far as I can see…" Doc's voice answered.

"Sunny? Sunny can you hear me because I hope you can. Do you think you can open your eyes for me?" Of course I would, I would do anything for him; no matter how much I hated myself for saying it, it was true.

I felt a small bit of pressure on what I assumed was my hand at this point and I immediately knew it was Kyle's by the way the electricity flowed between us. Or between Jodi and Kyle.

I pushed the pain from my heart quickly though and attempted to locate my eyes so I could finally open them for him.

_If my hand was where that slight pressure was, then my eyes should be farther up….right about….here? No…..here, they're here, _I thought to myself as I slowly moved my facial muscles around to loosen them up slightly before finally opening my eyes.

At first all I saw were blurs and slight shapes but then everything focused and I could see clearly again.

The first thing I noticed was the face almost directly in front of mine and the electric blue eyes that accompanied it. I felt the pain in my heart again, now a dull throb, but I also felt my heart flutter erratically. Great to know that I could still turn to jelly with one look in his eyes. Really, just wonderful.

"Kyle…"I murmured and my hand automatically reached out as if to caress him but I jerked it back when I realized what I was doing.

I turned away from him before he could react and saw Doc and Ian who was sitting on a chair cradling a cryotank in his arms and I would have smiled at his love for Wanda if I wasn't in so much agony myself.

"Why am I back?" I asked him and pointedly tried to ignore the overwhelming love that flooded my thoughts momentarily as Kyle squeezed my hand gently and I could she him smile slightly out of the corner of my eye.

"Well, Jodi didn't come back so Kyle had you put back in, to state it simply." Doc said, somewhat uncomfortable though I had no idea why.

This time I turned to Kyle and he flinched under my gaze and it took me a moment to realize I was glaring at him but I softened up quickly feeling guilty.

"Why?" I asked and I was surprised at how broken the word sounded.

"I….well, she didn't come back and we had no way to feed her and keep her body healthy." He said and I felt the pain rise up again and I winced. He put me back in to save Jodi's body.

I had been unconsciously expecting this answer but it didn't make it hurt any less, I thought as my vision began to blur. I knew what was coming and I didn't even bother to stop the tears that poured down my cheeks against my will.

Then I stood up quickly and turned to Kyle.

"I'm sorry." And then I was running, my legs working as fast as they could as I raced blindly down the unfamiliar twists and turns of the caves. I just had to get away; I couldn't stand the pain any longer. I felt like a coward but I frankly didn't care. I didn't have to be strong. I had no one to be strong for anyway.

I could hear him running after me and I knew it was a wasted effort but I kept going anyway.

I stopped shortly after that because of my body's lack of endurance and leaned against the jagged wall as I tried to catch my breath and stop the tears. I looked around tiredly and noticed I was in a small short hallway that was dark and deserted.

I slumped down and curled myself into a small ball as I sobbed, trying to take up as less space as I could, as I miserably awaited Kyle's arrival and the talk that was bound to occur. I cried for what felt like hours but what really only minutes until I heard the familiar footsteps echoing down the hall.

I turned my head when he turned the corner, because for some reason I didn't want him to see me like this. To see me this broken up and affected by his words and actions. To see me so weak, I knew pity was bound to come but I didn't want it. I didn't want any of it, especially from him.

I felt him sit down next to me but it was a little too close for my liking…..or more for my sanity. Suddenly his scent intoxicated my conscience, his warmth radiated towards me, and his overall presence made me cloud over with love, no matter how unwillingly. I had to stop this! I couln't keep fawning over someone who didn't want me back….it would only hurt more in the end. Yet I couldn't control myself when I involuntarily scooted closer to him.

"Sunny…..what's wrong? What did I say?" He asked me but I kept quiet as the sobs still took over my body. "Please tell me, I didn't mean whatever it is that made you cry, I'm sorry for whatever it was."

Again I was silent.

"Please talk to me."

And suddenly I had to, for again I couldn't stop myself from doing anything he asked me to. I would probably walk off a cliff he asked me to.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked softly though I knew the answer.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." I lied.

"Bull shit, Sunny. If nothing was wrong I doubt you would be sitting here crying like this." He pointed out and I frowned slightly. "Just…..please tell me what I did to upset you."

"It wasn't you." I lied again.

This time he was silent and I chanced a look at his face quickly before looking back down again as the tears spilled over again.

"I…..I just…it wasn't you….well….ugh," I couldn't seem to find the word to explain myself. "I just…..don't want to be here if it was only to save someone else's body. I know it's selfish but I just can't please everyone else when I'm hurting on the inside. I can't stand that and I understand why you put me back but I just don't like it, I can't like it." I struggled out and looked down as I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

"I'm sorry…."He started but then my sadness was turned to anger and I was talking again before I could stop myself.

"No, don't even try to lie to me Kyle. I think we both know that you're not sorry because all you want is Jodi. And I don't even think you care if you hurt me in the process do you? Do you? When it comes down to it, my feelings don't matter at all do they?" He was silent so I continued. "That's what I thought. You can't possibly expect me to be just fine and dandy with everything do you? Because I'm not. I'm sitting here my heart aching from the pain of being unwanted and trying hard to stop being so selfish but I just can't. I…I'm not strong enough to do that okay?" I had been standing by now so I sat back down again as the sobs overpowered and the tears flooded my vision. I could have cared less at that moment that he saw me crying really.

I don't know what brought that on really. I never shouted like that but then again I had never had a reason to before now.

I shook my head slightly before burying it in my arms and just letting myself cry freely while Kyle sat immobile next to me. And again I hated how I wanted to just crawl over to him, have him hold me and comfort me like he did in my-Jodi's- memories. But I couldn't help but love him, whether it was this body or me, I didn't know. I just knew I couldn't stop it.

"Why do you love me?" He asked suddenly and the question caught me off guard and I looked up slowly noting the confused look on his face.

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"You know, why do you love me so much?"

"I just do. Jodi loved you so when I was inserted I did too." I said simply, figuring that he would have known that.

"Do _you_ love me?" He asked and I frowned, I had no idea what he meant.

"I just said yes, I do."

"No, Sunny, I mean you, not Jodi. Do you love me?" He asked, and I could hear the slight impatience in his tone.

"Well, I…..don't know really." I stated truthfully, at least I thought I did but I had no idea.

"How can you not know?" He asked a bit angry before calming down a bit and looking at me intensely and I looked away from his fierce gaze.

"The longer I spend in the body, the harder it is to distinguish which emotion is mine or hers especially love. I really think I do but it's not like it makes a difference." I said and stared blankly at the wall in front of me.

"Oh," Was all he said then we were both engulfed in an uncomfortable silence.

After a few moments he spoke again.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this but I truly am sorry. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do and I really am sorry I can't love you back the way you need someone to. But you have to understand, I can't just forget about her. Not after all those years of yearning for her back in my arms. I just can't."He said softly and I turned my head to look at him as he continued. "And I know you didn't mean to, but I also can't just forget that the paras- souls took her from me."

"I'm so sorry-" I began but he cut me off.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you didn't choose to take over earth and Jodi so I personally have nothing against you, only your kind, sorry if I offend you though. But it's true."

"I know." I whispered and then thought of something. "Kyle…..I'll look for her. I'll try to find , her for you." I said and hated myself for getting his hopes up when I knew she wasn't there but I couldn't stand to see him so broken like this.

"Sunny…."

"You're welcome." I said quickly and swallowed down my pain.

"I… thank you but why would you do that?" He asked.

"Because I love you Kyle, you know that. No matter how much I try, I can't stop loving you. And I understand that you don't feel the same way and never will and I will respect that…..just….just please don't leave me. I couldn't bear it, just stay with me and I'll find her for you. I'll keep my feelings to myself if you want just don't desert me. Please. It's all I ask." I said quietly and looked at him again, this time though I held his gaze determinately.

"Of course I won't. I wouldn't leave you Sunny."

And through all my pain and misery just then I smiled at the fact that he said my name at the end of that statement.

**I hope you liked it and I also hope you review…..it helps me write faster. :)**


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